Vacation
by L.D. Eddy
Summary: What happens when three rogues get together for a road trip? Batman wishes you idiots would stop asking these questions. Featuring: Dead Switch, Jester, and Reaper, with some peeps from the Justice League. Oh, and Batman obviously.
1. Chapter 1

"Are we there yet?" Jester asked for what seemed like the millionth time. Clarice barely restrained a growl before turning and glaring at Dead Switch.

"Why?" She demanded. Switch sighed.

"Why what?"

"Why did you have to bring her along?" Clarice hissed, hooking her thumb at Jester. "All she's done so far is complain about how she's tired, how she's hungry, why can't she blow up the gas station, yadda yadda yadda. Why?"

"Because you said you'd try to get to know her better."

"Well, I'd like her better if she didn't ask if we were there every five minutes," Clarice grumbled. "By the way, you're drifting." Switch quickly corrected the car on the road.

"We're almost there, Jess, promise," Switch called to the back seat.

"Yay!" Jester cheered.

* * *

Bruce sighed as he closed his eyes and lay back on his beach towel. Everything was nice and tranquil.

Nobody for miles.

Just himself, the beach, and-

"Oh, thank God we're here!" A voice yelled. He could hear people walking down the path to the hidden beach. "If I had to hear Jess complain one more time, I would have taken hold of the wheel and driven us off of the road," The woman complained.

"Oh, come on 'Rice, it wasn't that bad," Another voice said. 'Rice must've given her a look because the next woman amended her statement. "Okay, she was pretty annoying, but still! She hasn't been to Metropolis! Who hasn't been to Metropolis? Seriously, who?"

"Apparently her, Switch."

Switch? What kind of name was-?

_**Switch. 'Rice. Jess.**_

No. No.

No, it couldn't be. Why would they be here? Why? Gotham had plenty of beaches that were great for swimming!

Okay, that was a lie. Gotham had plenty of beaches that were great for swimming if you had scales or fins and as far as he knew, these three had none of those. He opened his eyes and they confirmed his suspicions.

Deborah Swain, aka Dead Switch was at the beach along with Clarice Shawe – the Reaper – and Jessica Turner – Jester.

And they had seen him glance over at them.

Clarice waved and smiled, Deborah gave him a nod, and Jessica-

Jester was walking over.

Why? Why him? Why can't these screwballs go bug someone else? Like Clark? Why did it have to be him?

"Heya!" Jester chirped cheerfully as she plopped down next to him on the sand. He saw Reaper and Dead Switch exchange irritated glances before setting out their towels and relaxing on them.

"Hello? Do I know you?" Bruce finally responded to her.

"Nope!"

"Are you going to go over and save him from her or should I?" He heard Reaper ask. "I don't want to get arrested on my first day away from the kids in three months. I deserve this break."

"Hey, ya wanna hear a joke?" Jester asked.

"Go ahead, be my guest," Switch muttered at Reaper with a yawn. Reaper got up and started walking towards them.

"Hey, Jess! Come on, leave the poor- Holy shit, is that Bruce Wayne?"

Dammit.

"Wayne?" Switch popped up from her towel and looked over at him. "He's worth millions."

"Try billions," The words slipped out of his mouth before he could control himself. The girls' smiles grew wider.

"Hey, uh, cool kid, you wanna come and hang with us losers?" Reaper asked.

"I don't know about you, but I was not a loser in high school," Switch said,.

"I don't think I went to high school," Jester remarked with a grin.

"Yeah, well, I was a loser in high school so," Reaper trailed off, crossing her arms and giving him a questioning look. "So? You gonna come with us or are we gonna have to force you?"

"I'll call the police," He threatened.

"Switch! Get the rope!" Reaper yelled.

"'Kay!" Switch yelled back. She started digging through a beach bag before procuring some rope.

Bruce groaned.

Why couldn't this happen to anyone else in the Justice League?

* * *

_**A/N: Yay! More to come soon!**_


	2. Chapter 2

Bruce glared at the three girls as they stood and admired their handiwork.

"Nice double constrictor knot, Jess," Reaper praised.

"Well, I _was_ a boyscout. Or did I kill a boyscout? No, no, maybe I was a girl scout," Jester muttered.

"When I get out of this, I'll-" Bruce threatened. Jester stuck a sock in his mouth to keep him from talking. He almost gagged.

"You'll what? Beat us up? Sure," Switch said, rolling her eyes.

"I dunno, Switchy, he looks kinda...ripped," Reaper said, appraising his body before smiling and winking at him. "I tell you what-"

"Should your boyfriend be worried?" Switch asked, amusement evident in her voice. Bruce balked.

"No, no. Not when it comes to Wayne," Reaper dismissed.

"No, but if Superman walked up to you-"

"Shut up!" Reaper cut Switch off and gave her the finger in good nature. "And maybe. But it would never happen."

Bruce would've smirked if he hadn't been gagged. The next time he was teased for having a thing with Catwoman he'd bring up Reaper's apparent crush on Clark.

"So, what do we do now?" Dead Switch asked. Bruce watched as Reaper crossed her arms.

"I think we go shopping," Reaper said, smirking at her cohorts. Bruce groaned. "And I think our dear old friend Brucie is going to pick up the tab," She glanced at him and grabbed a canister of fear toxin from a stand next to her. "Or else dear Brucie is gonna be getting a mind _full_ of nightmares."

"How are we gonna do that and not get noticed?" Jester asked.

Clarice rolled her eyes.

"This is Metropolis, not Gotham. Nobody knows who we are except the Big Blue Babe of a Boyscout in the sky, and I'm pretty sure we won't be running into him in the high-couture shops of the city."

Bruce frowned. She was right. They were problems in Gotham and Gotham only. None of the citizens of Metropolis would recognize them unless they'd lived in Gotham before, and that was highly unlikely. Plus, they really weren't likely to run into Clark; the man definitely did not have enough money to shop where these women seemed to want to go.

"Well then," Switch said, grabbing Bruce's feet and pulling him out of the room. "Shopping it is."

Great.

* * *

Bruce groaned as the photographers flocked to them.

"Jesus, you don't even live in Metropolis and they want pictures of you," Switch muttered. Jester plastered herself to his arm and smiled and posed for the paparazzi. Clarice averted her gaze to the ground and tilted her hat down so they couldn't see her.

"Come on, Reaps," Jester muttered quietly, pulling the girl closer to them. "We're with Wayne. We might as well look the part," She giggled. Clarice rolled her eyes and looked at Switch who shrugged and wrapped herself around Bruce's other arm. Clarice sighed before draping her arm across Jester and smiling at the cameras.

"I hate having my picture taken."

"Oh come on, Reapsy!" Jester smiled. "Ya gotta look the part if ya gonna be seen with Bruce Wayne, Billionaire Playboy."

"Shut up, clown face," Reaper muttered, keeping her smile firmly plastered on her lips. "God, if I survive this, we are going drinking."

"I wouldn't object to some brandy," Bruce muttered. Clarice nodded.

"It's been decided. We're going boozing after, girls."

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**Stitcher: Haha, well, I finally found inspiration and updated this! Hope you enjoy!**_

_**Batty: Haha, hopefully they - Meaning Clarice - can get used to the tiny clown so they can have a little fun!**_


End file.
